Online Dating Fears and not being a Monster
A Judith Lucy show I saw stated that there was a survey of dating site users. They were asked this question
“What do you fear about online dating sites”
The guys answered…
“Meeting a fatty”
The girls answered
“Meeting a murder”
LOL, those answers don’t need anything added, they speak for themselves. Guys, don’t be creepy and you will do fine.
How not to be a monster
Well for starters, try approaching this whole thing just like you would a social event elsewhere such as the pub. Manners will always count*
Listening to and observing others has yielded some results:
- Respect for others
This goes for everyone in the chat room, regardless of gender or whether u are trying to bang em.
Simple really but I am constantly surprised at the constant flow of new guys doing this.**
- At a drinks event do not walk over to the girls having a pash and stop about a metre away and stare….and don’t follow them when they awkwardly stop pashing, get up, and walk inside (ie away from you). Even if you have chatted to both of them a lot in the chat room.
This lead to this guy being ostracized by the crowd. No one wanted to talk to creepy guy after that at that event, and following events. Invites to other events specifically mentioned ‘not creepy guy’. Harsh.
- Asking someone 3 times ‘do you skype’ with no reply is keen to say the least. Same goes for email/messages.
Step away from the keyboard mate. Chill. Have more conversations before going in for the kill. Remember trust needs to be established.
This is also border line fucking annoying. Just saying. Oh so is pasting ur skype details on attempt #4
- A no means no. Don’t keep asking.
This is akin to stalking. Have a really good think about that. If you cant connect the 2 then phone a friend.
Does not matter if this is in a chat room or the rest of the world, no means no.
Basically remember your manners and play nice.
A bit more on Respect for Others
I am a nice enough guy, not a push over but not pushy either, and generally try to help others. Fairly recently a guy was being a dick in the room. I politely suggested he may want to play nice and not be demeaning to the ladies when they said no, because his responses were being watched by *all* the ladies in the room.
Bear in mind that the ladies sadly receive this crap on a fairly regular basis. They typically just block the guy, as did I shortly afterward, so that they cant see his text anymore – a safe, no fuss way of dealing with such people.
Well my suggestion was not received well and I copped some flak from Mr Dick. Not surprisingly considering the guy was an A Grade Arsehole too but what raised an eyebrow for me was when the ladies that I am friends with and a guy I have chatted briefly with (non friend as such) got stuck into this guy on my behalf.
Faaark, this guy lasted about 20 mins more before bowing out. Everyone knew his name after that session. Oh btw he had a Gold account, wasted money now (no refunds on most adult sites).
Play nice kids or have your toys taken away.
* I suspect with one lady I was not pushy /demanding enough. Wont ever know but all good, plenty of other fish in the sea. If I was meant for her we would have clicked…but polite certainly got me through the door.
** There is a saying “There are fast pilots, and there are old pilots, but there ain’t no fast old pilots”
Well same could be said for disrespectful guys in the chat room.