Frustrated :/
Just sooooo damn frustrated at the moment. In the car the foot is going down more on the accelerator way more than it is on the brakes (which considering I drive coolly and calmly speaks volumes to me), and things that just don’t phase me are getting me grrr - the kids making a bit of noise, FWB inviting me to a movie instead of a shag**, something that MrJ said to me in the chat room (a really minor thing actually but being so grrr I blew it out of proportion – offline and to myself only 
).
Indeed it was the fact that I was making a mountain out of a mole hill that made me pause, reflect, think about things and the why.
To be clear it’s not the thing that is frustrating me. This is obvious to me for I am having a disproportionate response to a trigger. Its something more than that, an underlying thing and I think I put my finger on it – I am not getting enough at the moment with school holidays mixing up everyones schedules, and b) I could really do with some quality anal – just not getting enough.
I miss fucking MsE silly. She did quite like it up the bum We parted ways quite a few weeks ago now, and I think upon reflection that I have been getting tense since then. While MsA does give up the A its….well she is giving it up, not doing something that she enjoys (I suspect). To be frank if it that’s the case I would rather not do it – I like my anal sex to be mutually beneficial…which is strange as I am quite happy sucking someones toes while fingering them – its not beneficial to me but it is to them. I am finding it hard to get it into my head that someone might do the same for me…..I suspect it’s an ego thing in my case, they need to love the D that I am providing
On top of that MsN…well she is fun, its some good sex with the right mix of fun and rough stuff…but its so fucking frustrating. Every time so far I end up finishing up with my hand. I love it when a woman cums but MsN has this frustrating habit of slumpig forward when she cums during doggy…and that’s the only time I am likely to cum. Maybe getting it in too deep ? So lots for her but zero for me.
Anyways that’s frustrating for me, big time. I don’t cum often or quickly and I do hold out as long as possible, but I do know when its my time. Basically it’s when I don’t have enough energy to keep going, so get in before everything is gone I need to keep some in reserve to get up to speed and then go all out to blow, and well when its stop and go by the 3rd time I can’t keep doing it – too knackered to fuck….. So I have not been pursuing this fun fiesty woman, not been organising play dates as such. Yet another reason for my frustrations :/
In other news last weekend I went down to Canberra to see a friend who is up Melbourne seeing friends in Canberra and inbetween. Cool, nothing expected there (although I do want to as she has some nice curves 
) but yes, just friends. Well on the day before going I let another friend know I was going. I know she gets down to Canberra a bit and yes I have been there before (she was a most unexpected but very welcome 38th birthday present to yours truly, almost 2 years ago – a young lass (22 ish ?).
She liked what I did the 1st time around but alas I was too rough with her the 2nd time, and yeah never got an invite for a 3rd time).
We are friends though – she is quite interesting, our kids hang out when she is in Sydney. Well I let her know I was going to be there and she said “sweet, I can get my step parents to baby sit and I can do grown up things, relax, let my hair down”. I assumed nothing, kept it neutral, had dinner with plans to go ten pin bowling, maybe have a drink etc. Well on the way from dinner (which was somewhat flirtatious on her behalf) to the car I put it to her did she want to have sex with me or go ten pin bowling or both? She thought about it for a while and said ‘just the sex please” which somewhat surprised me as I was not expecting that…and we did …and she was too sore to do it again the next day Job well done *pat myself on the back*
(Side note, MsCanberra gave the best reply ever ! > I said “enjoy your orgasms, you deserve them ”…and she replied “Damn straight I do!” The Equality is strong in this one
(Editor note: It’s good to get things out/written down – I have gone from feeling grrr when I started writing to smiling a fair bit at the previous paragraph)
…and in other good news…
Well well well, I have somehow and I do not truly know how, but somehow a South Australian lady that I speak to regularly in the room about general stuff/chit chat/non sexual has decided that a) it will be sexual and b) is coming up to Sydney to see *me*. I am grinning ear to ear She will be here in 48hrs 58mins and 12 seconds to be precise Yes I am counting it down :p I think we will rock each others boats for the next couple of days. I do have to take her sight seeing though – not sure when we will fit that in but if all else fails there is always Google Earth :p
I will pick her up from the airport and take her to her hotel…after that I am not sure. Probably get it on then but it may well be a case of too tired or still testing the chemistry / feel safe with this person?
Oh and I read today that California will be enacting a “Yes means Yes” sexual consent law. To me this seems clear and obvious – simple clear communication in the affirmative before putting your hands on someone. It is about fucking time.
It *needs* to be this clear, it really does. From a woman’s perspective she is talking to (typically) a person who is a) sexually keyed up, and b) bigger than she is. That’s a bit of a fear factor..and one that women experience from puberty – that guy walking towards me in the dark on the pavement, that guy walking to his car – friend or foe?..and the stakes are high…..so for a woman its good to hear that respectful question up front.
From a guys perspective the stakes are also high. By not asking you could be up for sexual assault, attempted rape, or rape. You may want to bear that in mind yeah. Oh and if they ever say “stop” then stop. Indeed I am so well trained on this that I have been known to mishear the mumbled “don’t stop, don’t stop” 
and stop, erring on the safe side – we can always start again, and the sexual tension is greater
OKies I feel better now, have a good one people
Daftie
**FWB inviting me to a movie instead of a shag
I was mostly likely irked by this as I really could have done with the shag / being sexually frustrated….as it turned out she cancelled on the movie, it had been a draining day for her. ……….All good No harm done, no blood spilt, no tears fallen