Couples – From the Outside
To be very fair it should be noted that the limit of my actual experience thus far is arranging it but not actually meeting – I was pretty nervous and was thus worried about keeping it up…thus adding to my fears/general nervousness lol… and so was pretty relieved when they cancelled due to other commitments (they are long term swingers so I doubt they got cold feet).
I have had discussion with 5 couples so far. Interesting…
Feelings of Jealousy
Unsurprisingly jealousy does rear its ugly head. I say unsurprisingly because this is a couple in love with each other, and these individuals are getting very intimate with other people. 3 examples of this in action
1) A couple been together for a long time and they are looking to spice up their sex lives. This story is told from the guys perspective. They want and agree to a MFM as their first foray into swinging. The lady of the couple begins talking to people and they choose 1 particular guy.
For the lady in this relationship this is *not* a wham bam thankyou maam situation. Trust needs to be established before any one is kneeling down to pray at her holiest of holies, and so she is contacting guy#2 regularly. The contact is via SMS and phone chat and a lot of it over a few *months*.
The point at which hubby got jealous was when the contact was trending towards times when he was not at home (shift worker). His jealousy was irrational, as he himself noted, because the other guy is in Melbourne (they are in Sydney), so its not as if guy#2 is going to be climbing through the window anytime soon.
Anyways, he talks to the missus about this, voicing his concerns. This was the right thing to do on many fronts as keeping this kind of shit bottled up is absolutely no good. She explains to him that she really needs to feel comfortable about this guy and it will be like a 2nd boyfriend in some regards.
I found this surprising because well…its a 3sum not a long term relationship. Just goes to show that everyone is different, and different people have different expectations and needs before entering into this kind of thing.
How did it turn out for them in the long run….
Well they go down to Melbourne to meet the guy…and he bailed. Gave an excuse but as hubby said he probably got cold feet.
Now they did fly down again to meet up a 2nd time, and no cold feet this time. Everyone had a fun time….and now to date they have done all of their fantasies.
2) A couple from Melbourne this time and told from the missus’s perspective. They also want to spice up their sex lives, and are looking for a MFM. The missus is chatting to a guy for a while, at least 1 month, before she trusts him. Cool, but the hubby is jealous at this point. Not good for hubby as hubby tends to internalise his frustrations.
The missus let him cool down for a few days before broaching the subject again. I am not sure what she said but I think she got the idea across that guy#2 was just a fuck, not someone she would be running off with, or meeting by herself.
Anyways about a week later I got the news that the MFM had proceeded, and missus had enjoyed herself thoroughly.
Unfortunately a week after that I got a brief message saying hubby was not happy. I will inquire more about this later.
3) A lady meets a couple. The 2 ladies get it on, and are having a fab ole time. Unfortunately the hubby gets seriously jealous watching this and beats lady#2. Note that rough sex is certainly not a part of the arrangement.
My only possible explanation from this is that some kind of male-male sexual competition behavior kicked in, but was mixed up by the lady action. Understandable perhaps but not acceptable.
Bear in mind that this was a rare occurrence.
No Go Zones in the Bedroom
Well this was interesting. Whats on and whats not when it comes to having an adult friend. Some things I heard and went “Oh yeah that makes sense”. For example kissing. A pretty intimate thing, OR one on one sex.
I found these surprising because of “Well, I just had my tongue up your missus’s arse, how much more intimate can you get”.
Some examples of things that were not permitted by one or both members of the couple because they were too intimate for outsiders:
- Holding hands
- Rubbing faces
- Spooning after sex or sharing a hotel room (this was for missus meeting a guy by herself)
Some Other Thoughts
If you are looking to get into swinging with a couple or looking to be a swinging couple you may want to bear these things in mind
- More experience couples are more likely to be hassle free.
They have dealt with their shiz, and now just want to have fun.
- Feelings of jealousy *are* going to happen. You need to be prepared for this so you can deal with this ugly emotion when it comes up.
- It might take time to form trust. Be patient.
- Females that want to join couples are hard to find.
Males that want to join couples are easy to find lol.
- Each to their own but realistically you probably wont know until you try.
Just don’t get too excited about it as you are a part of a team and the team has to be happy before going ahead (job :p….oh I crack me up
- Go to a couple club when you are ready. Just have a squiz, get a feel for things without actually committing to anything.
- Talk to other couples, get their wisdom.
- There are some fruit loops out there, just as in the rest of the world. Keep your eyes open
OK ending on a happy note
I have only heard of 2 bad experiences on here, and thats from some pretty experienced swingers. All in all they are pretty happy with the whole thing. A bit trying on the emotions early on but well worth it.
Have a good one